7 Principals of Influence

I have utilized the power of persuasion and influence to:

• Generate piles of cash

• Build massive businesses

• Train my kids in “the way they should go”

• Sway the masses to do business with me

• Build relational capital with critical partners and authorities

• Wnn arguments with Missy (my wife)... just kidding… I’m not that good (yet) 😂

Ethical Influence is one of the most important skills one can develop in life and business.

Your ability to influence and persuade is paramount in accomplishing your goals in life.

I’ve studied and invested heavily in this subject, and the learning never stops. I’m highly intrigued by human psychology and what makes people do what they do.

Today we’re doing a deep dive into How Emotional Intelligence (EI) is critical for you as a Leader - steward of your team, and your family.

Before we jump in, I want to share some exciting news~

Because influence and persuasion are the linchpin to effective leadership, communication, sales, and parenting I’m launching a newsletter called Modern Influence Society! Woooo! 

The best news is that I’m launching it alongside my friend and business partner with Modern Influence Society, Johnny Nel, who has:

• Played a crucial role in supporting my business and many businesses through their growth phases, focusing on strategies that foster scalable and sustainable development.

• Trained under high-level [confidential] operatives on Neuro-Cognitive Intelligence™️ - the pinnacle of understanding and shaping human behavior (in simple terms - getting people to do what you want) 

• Extended practice in analyzing human behavior and body language, detecting micro and subtle expressions, and responding to the emotional expressions of others. 

• Specializes in covert-influence strategies designed to stimulate business growth, enhance authority, and strengthen culture, and communities.

• In the “service realm,” - Johnny is a well-recognized expert in outbound, persuasion, and influence strategies while developing, cultivating, and leading successful, high-performing opportunity outreaching teams.

The list goes on… 

In a minute, I’m going to turn it over to Johnny…

I’m excited to learn from Johnny and write more about the art of influence and persuasion.

If you want to know how to influence people ethically, here is your free invite from me.

Every Wednesday, we’ll send a letter on topics ranging from the initial understanding of Leadership, Influence, and Persuasion to the complete command of these crucial skills…

I’m about to hand off this issue of The Good Steward letter to Johnny to preview what we’ll be writing about… 

Take it away, Johnny!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome, Chris—I’m honored to be here.

[Below, I will share the 7 Principles of Modern Influence].

As I sit down to share this, I'm struck by the curious turns life often takes, especially when it comes to others' perceptions of us. 

A few years ago, I found myself at a birthday party. 

The event itself was a cozy, intimate gathering, set in a charming little living room strung with ambient lights, casting a soft glow on everyone's faces.

My wife, ever the social butterfly, flitting from person to person, her laughter a harmonious backdrop to the hum of conversations around us… 

On the other hand, I tend to take a more observant role at such gatherings, content to listen more than speak, to understand more than to be understood. 

It's perhaps this quality that led to the intriguing misapprehension that unfolded that night. 

The moment came when I found myself in a conversation with one of my wife's colleagues, a bright, engaging person with a keen interest in human behavior. 

Our chat meandered from casual party talk to more profound discussions about motivation, emotion, and the complexities of the human psyche. 

As we exchanged thoughts, I noticed the look of assumption slowly dawning on my conversation partner's face…

The kind of look that says, "Ah, I've got you figured out." 

Eventually, it came, the question posed with a mix of curiosity and confidence, "So, you're in psychology, then? Or is it psychiatry you specialize in?"

I couldn't help but smile; the question wasn't new. 

"Actually," I began, eager to set the record straight yet flattered by the assumption, "I'm not a psychologist, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, mental health specialist, or any form of therapist." 

You could see the surprise, the quick reassessment in their eyes. 

It's a reaction I've grown somewhat fond of, a reminder of the boxes we often try to fit people into based on snippets of their knowledge or interests.

My journey has been deeply rooted in a personal passion for understanding human behavior, not from the hallowed halls of academia but from a place of pure, unbridled curiosity. 

I've spent years studying the art and science of human interaction. I apply these insights to my daily life and work, focusing on strategic growth and effective communication.

The conversation that followed was enlightening for us both. It was a deep dive into how unconventional paths can lead to a rich understanding of our world and its people. 

A unique phenomenon occurred to me when my wife decided to venture into business alongside me: 

How does “EI” parallel with you as a leader stewarding a team and as a parent stewarding your children?

At the heart of both impactful leadership and insightful parenting lies a common thread: 

Psychological and emotional frameworks underpin our ability to influence and persuade. 

No matter the social, business, or familial context, these seven principles of influence work.

Here are the seven frameworks you need:

1. Trust and Safety: Both children and employees thrive in environments where they feel safe and trusted, fostering openness and innovation.

Example:

• Team: “I trust your judgment on this project. Let’s review your plan/idea and see how I/we can support you.”

• Children: “I trust you to make good choices. If you’re ever unsure, remember, I’m always here to help.”

2. Modeling Behavior: Leaders and parents set examples through their actions, influencing the behavior of their followers or children.

Example:

• Team: “I’ll be working alongside you on this. Let’s set the standard for excellence together.”

• Children: “I always make my bed in the morning to start the day right. How about we do it together tomorrow?”

3. Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledging achievements motivates repeat workplace and home behaviors.

Example: 

• Team: “Great job on that presentation. Your hard work really stood out to the client.”

• Children: “You did an amazing job cleaning up your room without being asked. That’s very responsible of you.”

4. Clear Expectations: Defined goals and boundaries enable confident decision-making and navigation of challenges. 

Example:

• Team: “Here’s what we aim to achieve with this project. Let’s discuss how each of you can contribute.”

• Children: “We have a rule about screen time because it’s important to balance fun and responsibilities.”

5. Encouragement: During challenges, support builds resilience, loyalty, and commitment.

Example: 

• Team: “I know this challenge seems daunting, but I’ve seen us overcome similar. Let’s tackle it together.”

• Children: “I know math seems tough right now, but I believe in you. Let’s work through it together.”

6. Open Communication: Fostering dialogue and critical thinking leads to innovative solutions and stronger relationships.

Example: 

• Team: “I value your ideas. Let’s have an open discussion about how we can improve our workflow.”

• Children: “What did you think about your day? Let’s talk about the highs and lows.”

7. Empathy and Understanding: Empathetic leaders and parents create positive, supportive environments that strengthen bonds. 

Example: 

Team: “I understand this project has been stressful. Let’s figure out how to ease the load and move forward.”

Children: “It sounds like you had a tough day. Want to talk about what happened?”

“At the core of our most meaningful achievements are the relationships we cultivate and the understanding we extend to each other.”

- Unknown

Leading with empathy is the cornerstone of successfully influencing our teams, families, and partners and building a fulfilling life.

The examples provided serve as practical guides for applying these principles daily, encouraging a shift towards more meaningful interactions and decisions.

If you're inspired by the idea of mastering the art of ethical influence and persuasion and keen on applying these skills to enhance your leadership and enrich your family life, we invite you to join us at the Modern Influence Society. 

This [Confidential] Letter is more than just a series of lessons; it's an elite group dedicated to exploring the depths of Leadership, Influence, and Persuasion in a way that's actionable, impactful, and grounded in real-life experiences, personally and professionally…

You are free to accept your invitation to the Modern Influence Society and join a growing inner-circle, family-like community committed to the art and science of Leadership, Influence, and Persuasion.

All the best,

Johnny