How do you define success?

For me, the definition of success has largely been defined by others.

Status.
Private jets.
Lots of money.
Having a big company.
Accumulation = happiness.
Being (seen as) better than others.
Beating my competition into the ground.

As I’ve gone through the great “perspective shift,” I’ve been reshaping my definition of success. I’ll share more about that below.

When we adhere to others’ ideas of success, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We set ourselves up to fall short of the mark. I’ve coached hundreds, if not thousands, of business owners. I’d wager most follow the herd regarding “success.”

Here’s the rub… when we follow what others deem successful, we’re never our master.

Here’s why we follow what other people call success:

Belonging. We want to belong. If we achieve that, it says something about us that is good and worthy.

Unfortunately, it robs us of our unique expression and contribution. And therefore, it robs others.

In this place, we’re running a race we can never win because it’s NOT OUR RACE. 😅 We might be able to run fast. That doesn’t mean we won’t die in the process.

Here are the considerations to identify what success means to you:

1. Get awareness.
   
   Clarifying and determining what success means for me that’s outside the norm takes awareness and sophistication. It also might be risky because it’s not the norm. I’d rather do that, live free and in alignment, than go back to where I was—a lot of burden.
   
   So here are a few questions to get awareness:
   
   Why am I pursuing the things I’m seeking?
   Where did these ideas come from?
   How will I feel if I do achieve these things?
   How long will that feeling last?
   How will I feel if I don’t accomplish these things?
   
   This might be the most important one:
   
   If nobody else sees my “success,” will I still feel the same?
   

2. Redefine.
   
   We need to take time and redefine what success truly means to us. One of my most significant (ongoing) shifts focuses more on process than outcome.
   

   I’ve been so driven to outcomes it’s driven me partly crazy. I think the outcomes are good and fine, but mostly, it’s been for other people to see me. I’m more interested now in the art and science of work. I don’t care about being on a booster rocket anymore.
   
   So, because of this and my unique experience (scaling multiple 8-figure businesses), my approach is different. I think it’s healthier and more sustainable.
   
   So, based on those answers (above), redefine what success means to you. As good stewards, we’re not just pursuing more for the sake of more anymore.
   
   Our “more” has a lot of intention. We’re internally healthy, so external validation and the primary driver aren’t needed (as much).
   

3. Determine your values.
   
   Part of burnout comes from operating misaligned with our values. Part of us is going fast one way, and the other part is like, “hell nah.”
   
   To determine what success means to us, we must first identify what we ACTUALLY value.
   
   Here is an excellent video from Dr. Demartini that can help you define your values.
   
   If you’ve felt unfulfilled, tired of the rat race, or lacking meaning, this message is right on time, and I think this idea can kickstart you in the right direction.

I shared my previous ideas of success above. Although I’m not gonna lie, rewiring those notions takes time. Below is my recent perspective. And It’s still being developed.

Here’s what it currently looks like:

Individual:

- I’m healthy (mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally)
- I walk in joy no matter what is happening
- I operate from “rest,” not anxious toil
- I honor my natural limits
- I’m internally abundant
- I see myself as worthy, loved, and valuable
- I honor my boundaries
- I’m resilient
- I build from love, service, and joy
- I build and create with intention
- I say no to things that don’t feel right

Family:

- I have a loving and healthy marriage
- I have meaningful relationships with my four kids
- We have dinner together five nights a week
- We’re able to have open, honest and safe conversations
- They feel they can be vulnerable with me about anything
- I’m able to give them my undivided attention
- I have the time and ability to properly nurture their full development

What about you? Do you feel alive and full of joy? Or do you feel trapped? Maybe you feel like you’re living someone else’s dream and desire. Maybe it feels lonely, isolating, and false.

I understand. There’s no judgment here. Operating from our definition of success and values is a quick injection of joy. It’s the first step to freedom. People you and I have compared ourselves to, I bet, aren't free but rather slaves. Why? They’ve fallen into the trap.

Let me know how this process goes for you!

Digging deep and figuring out what’s important to us is good stewardship.

In your corner,

Chris