The Art of Letting Go

[I’m heading to D.C. with the family for fun, good food and to tour some amazing sites and museums. It’s also my wife’s birthday. So this week’s letter won’t be long.]

The last year has been an incredible growth year for me. Like I couldn’t have imagined.

What do you feel and think as I write that? “Man, Chris must have crussshhhed!!”

Nope. Not. At. All.

Not growth as we typically discern it. Matter of fact-financially, I’ve gone backward, substantially. It is what it is.

The growth i’m talking about has been mostly internal and “unseen”. Maybe I should have titled this letter The Art of Suffering. haha.

In the process I’ve had to learn to let go of a lot. I think that’s the only way to a fuller life; by being open handed.

The best growth is usually the unseen growth. It’s not the growth that is praised and worshiped by mere mortals.

We praise and celebrate the MORE of everything.

Here’s what the situation looked like for me:

My bank account didn’t grow
My social following didn’t grow
My assets didn’t grow
My client roster didn’t grow
My email list didn’t grow
My businesses didn’t grow (gone)

Am I being too honest, here? Good, let us continue shall we?

By all (typical) accounts I’ve failed gloriously. Everything went opposite. So much so that I’m working on a book on failure. 😅 

Now, these are things historically I’ve placed the highest value on. T

• Money

• Assets

• Notoriety

• Business growth

• Higher highs

Everything up and to the right.

The process of the losses (i’m actively going through —- more on that later when I can share) has felt like carrying a dumpster (on fire) of guilt and shame around on my back.

Back to the losses and the relevance for today’s sermon on growth.

There are systems in this world. The same system that makes me depressed from being on social media for 2.5 minutes is the same system that glorifies all the “seen” things.

Note: these things aren’t inherently bad. I think money, assets, growth, etc are all fine and good. My problem is when it rules your life. That’s an issue.

Unfortunately, the deep unseen work of our lives often goes unspoken, unpraised and unvalued.

And that’s sad.

My “unseen” growth has been one of the best things to happen:

I’m closer to my wife and kids than I’ve ever been
I see every day as a beautiful gift
I’m grateful for the simplest and smallest things
I have greater emotional capacity for myself and my loved ones
My ability to handle hardship, trials and tests has grown leaps and bounds
My empathy, compassion and love for other people has grown exponentially (a lot in marketer words)
I’ve found that content, peace and joy are the secrets to life and they’re available today (even in hardships)
I’m now a wise sage (so i’ve been told)

It’s a been a time of deep roots planted into the ground. The things that really matter have become the priority. God and my family.

Are you feeling squeezed? Maybe you’ve gone the “opposite” direction of what you’re supposed to or dream of?

Celebrate. If you pull back the layers there is growth where I bet you haven’t realized it?

The squeeze….

Does it hurt? Yes.
Is it painful? Yes.
Does it suck? Yes.
Do you wish everything was just easy? Yes. lol.
Does it make you want quit all the time? Yes.
Does it make you want to binge Real House Wives of Orange County and eat Nutty Bars? None of your business.

It could be financial, relational, emotional, your health or maybe all of the above.

Practical tips if you’re feeling squeezed:

1. Write down the areas in which you’ve grown.
2. Write down the learning lessons you’ve gathered.
3. Write down all the wins, positives and blessings in your life (small or big).

What you’ll notice is there is some deep work (thought hard) and fruit coming to bare.

Pruning is the only way a plant can stay healthy. If you’re in a pruning season, you’re not alone. There are many many people being pruned. 😁 

The things you struggle with?
Write a list of those as well. Seriously. Could be fear, anxiety, uncertainty, loneliness, anger, etc etc.

My list is a long laundry list soooo….. don’t be afraid.

When the list is done: Write next to each- “Compassion”.

Give yourself compassion. If you’re like me, a self-judgey entrepreneur-type you don’t have a pico gram of compassion for yourself.

I always feel like I should be, could be and must be doing more and expect a lot of myself. So the interesting pattern is when I’m not “measuring up” I easily judge, criticize and condemn myself. Doesn’t work well.

We must place a HIGH VALUE on the internal expansion and growth that’s happening.

We have to focus on those things vs “I didn’t make a billion dollars this month-oh-my-gawd”.

• My kids are really healthy and awesome

• My marriage is great

• I have close friends that love me for who I am

• I get to go fishing (and enjoy it)

• I have food in my pantry

I have everything I need AND more! When the perspective is right life is good even when I face challenges.

So for you… what are the things that you need to hold onto. The growth unseen, unvalued, unpraised, unacknowledged, un_________?

Then, what are the things you need to let go of? 

Maybe there’s some disappointment lingering. Things didn’t work out like you thought they would. I encourage you to not hold on to those things. Let go. It really is a choice

Letting go means making room for something more beautiful.

Find other people going through the same challenges and squeeze you might be experiencing and link arms with them. Gosh, what a gift this is.

Consider this:

1. Know you’re not alone

2. The challenges are a gift

3. How you respond is a choice

As hard as the squeeze feels it’s for you (and me).

Life is beautiful, even in the challenges.

Hope today’s message inspired you (if it did feel free to share it).

Overflow is available and here today.

Till next time…

To the Overflow,

Chris

p.s. If you have any topics you want me to write about reply and let me know what your biggest challenge is and I’ll see if I can help you (and everybody else) via the newsletter.