Guilty Guilty Guilty

6:32 am.

It was still pitch-black dark, with a chill that hit the bone.

Outside, nothing was moving around yet. I was in the middle of nowhere, getting ready to take steps I’d made so many times before.

This time, it felt very different and not in a good way.

I felt sick.

Knots in my stomach.
Anxious.

I could barely catch my breath.

I felt riddled with guilt.

The verdict was in.
No escaping that feeling.

Waves of angst.
Waves of worry.
“What ifs” ran rampant in my brain.

It was Oct. 2022. I had recently left my business. The FTC was hot on my trail.

I was still exhausted and burnt out. Something I knew THIS TIME I couldn’t bounce back from quickly.

No quick weekend getaway was going to fix this. I went way past my limits. My cortisol was through the roof.

I knew I needed to rest.
I knew I needed to process what I had been through.

So here I am… taking steps into the river. The place that had given me so much joy and peace, yet I felt the opposite.

I felt restless.
I felt turmoil.
I felt fear.

The scene was set.

The Defendant: Chris Evans
The Judge: Chris Evans
Verdict: Guilty for Not Producing Enough

“How dare you not produce!!”

That was my internal judge—gavel in hand, who had already declared the verdict guilty.

After producing my ass off for ten years straight, I still couldn’t rest and recover without feeling guilt and heart-pounding anxiety.

I was doing what I knew I needed to heal and take care of myself (REST), but all I could think about was, “I should be producing right now.”

If I produce (I thought)—I’ll feel safe.
If I produce (I thought)—I’ll feel secure.
If I produce (I thought)—I’ll be in complete control.

Have you ever felt this?

Go on vacation. You can’t unplug.
7 p.m. You can’t be present with the kids.
Hit the new milestone. You feel it’s not enough.

Suppose you’ve ever felt this. You’re not alone. You’re in the majority.

If you feel like you can’t truly rest. Keep reading.
If you feel like you don’t measure up. Keep reading.
If you feel like you can’t be present with the fam. Keep reading.
If you’re questioning why you’re doing what you’re doing. Keep reading. 😁 

First, I want to explain the why behind our entrepreneurial restlessness.

Then, we’ll discuss some solutions so you can operate FROM rest.

1. Attaching our self-worth to our production.

If we produce enough, we’ll be worthy. So we think.

Because we attach our self-worth to our ability to produce, we can’t stop.

Why? The feeling of not being good enough courses through your mind, heart, and emotions.

2. Fear of failure.

When we’re afraid to fail (being a failure), we push hard to “live up” to societal (or parent, teacher, leader) expectations so we can’t be caught not producing.

Not producing = failure.
Failure = not a good person.

Is any of this resonating yet? 😅 

3. Perfectionism

A perfectionist (🙋) never sees anything good enough (especially if it comes from them). Because of that, we go non-stop to make it perfect.

There are many more reasons why we struggle with ‘PG,’ but I think this is enough to bring awareness today.

Here are some ideas for releasing productivity guilt and incorporating rest into your weekly rhythms.

🗝️ Don’t attach your self-worth to what you produce.

You ARE worthy. Period. The sooner you and I realize that, the sooner we can take care of ourselves.

🗝️ Exchange your values.

Society and your favorite guru values non-stop pushing. That’s how we grow, so by default, that’s what we value.

We are externally influenced 24/7. To be more, you must do more. It’s B.S.

Instead, sit down, write out what YOU value, and look at those values every day.

Prioritize creating new values before discarding old ones.

I valued my time, freedom, and rest more than status and things. The anxiety set in before I allowed my head to catch up with my heart.

It’s okay if you don’t want to work your eyeballs off.

🗝️ Get help from someone.

One of the most significant contributors to releasing productivity guilt and living in more peace was engaging others to help me.

Do not go it alone, my friend. If you need my help (hit reply), I can refer you to someone. If you want more peace and less guilt, it’s possible!

Getting help moved the needle for me. Now, I have the proper tools.

🗝️ Change your environment.

If you’re around people who grind their faces off non-stop… how will you let go of that?

If you’re around people who make fun of you for taking time off, are passive-aggressive, or “don’t approve,” that won’t help.

🗝️ Don’t compare yourself.

Comparing ourselves to others is like swimming upriver. It’s not sustainable or enjoyable. Avoid it (looks in the mirror).

Truth: I still struggle with productivity guilt sometimes. I can usually trace it back to one of the above.

Thanks for all the responses to last week’s post. I really appreciate it and so glad this message is resonating!

I read all your comments (in the polls), and respond to emails. Happy to hear your feedback.

Much love,

C

When you’re ready:

1. Grab my book, which is already impacting Founders profoundly.

2. Not taking clients right now. But get on my waitlist (by responding to this email).