Pressure Is A Privilege

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The Thought: How we feel is determined by what we think. We have two thinking systems: conscious and subconscious. Changing our perspective on a situation can change our feelings and well-being.

Here’s some context about this: many people are feeling a lot of pressure and faced with varying degrees of challenges. If that’s you, you’re not alone. I wanted to write up some considerations to help.

We have an instant pot. I feel like I’ve been in it. 😅 

Those things cook a pork loin in like 20 minutes. I’ve gained a lot of wisdom from being in the pot.

Last week’s letter I discussed that I was in the process of settling legal challenges. Well, I’m still “in process”. And that process is pressure.

But I’ve had a “peace that surpasses understanding”. First off, the big reason why I believe that is the case is the grace of God. First and foremost.

Then there are some practical things I’ll share below.

I optimized so much of my life for comfort and convenience. It’s something I normalized. That’s not a good thing to normalize because it’s not the reality of life. Even the “wealthiest” people in the world have health problems, relationship problems, financial issues, etc.

Normalizing for comfort is usually avoidance for perceived pain.

Now I’m working to normalize discomfort, pressure and hardship.

If we can thrive in the place of pressure we become antifragile. I wrote about antifragility here.

My wife and I have been watching this tennis show on Netflix called Break Point (I recommend it). The walkout at one of the stadiums these goliath’s of the game play says “Pressure is a Privilege”.

It struck me.

That is a perspective shift.

And that’s the first realization when you’re dealing with something difficult that-is pressure.

Pressure is a gift. It can be painful. It can hurt. But it’s a gift.

Apply These Shifts For Handling Pressure

Change Perspectives on The Situation

When the pressure IS ON you are being expanded.

The gift of pressure is: expansion and perspective. It’s requiring me to count what really matters. Pressure is an opportunity to become stronger and better and more wise.

Don’t lose that opportunity.

I’m not minimizing any struggle or pain you’re going through. Trust me I have a lot of empathy for where you might be at.

But what if I could CHOOSE peace and joy in this situation? What if I allowed the pressure to refine me?

Problem is we live in a world where we prioritize comfort so when challenges come everything hurts.

Our thoughts and perspective can make things better or worse.

Instead of the struggle and pressure hurting you » the resistance is making you stronger! It’s making you antifragile. It was needed.

A tree needs wind to get stronger.

Gratitude Is Paramount

When we take a minute and stop focusing on lack, what’s missing or where we’re not at yet and shift our minds and hearts to so much gratitude for what WE DO have it will change the game.

Brené Brown interviewed hundreds of “intense trauma” victims. There was a commonality with the ones “leaning into joy” and it was gratitude. Gratitude was the difference maker. Gratitude is a perspective shift.

Gratitude is a drastically underutilized vehicle that can move us from darkness to light.

Recently when we were in DC for vacation and we started running into inconveniences I started saying “what a gift”. It’s crazy how it changed everybody’s attitude.

Everybody started saying it… if I got annoyed by something “Dad, what a gift that was”… immediate smile.

We have an ABUNDANCE of gifts all around.

Let Go of the Things You Can’t Control

As entrepreneurs we’re CONTROL freaks.

We like to think we can control everything about our lives.

We can’t.

The sooner we realize this and let go of what’s not in our control the sooner we’ll feel the tension and pressure leave.

I can’t control what the economy will do.
I can’t control what the real estate market will do.
I can’t control what competitors will do.
I can’t control if someone sues me.
There is so much I can not control.

I CAN control MY RESPONSE. 

I’m finding the more open handed I am with life the more freedom I find. 

I was really attached to my businesses, success, money, assets and the perception of people… letting all those things go is giving me so much peace which “shouldn’t be the case”.

Practice Awareness Daily

A lot of our pain comes from subconscious rumination.

I’ve lived most my life in this place. There are things I’m not aware of… that rule my perceived reality. The sooner I’m able to get awareness and reroute the “story” the sooner I feel better and proceed forward.

My process was to suppress vs feel it. I thought I was protecting myself. Suppression of negative emotions is self harm.

Now I allow myself to feel it and speak life and truth to myself. No matter what challenge you’re going through it will work out.

When we’re not practicing awareness every day on the stories we’re telling ourselves and then confronting those stories everything will tend to feel bad.

I know those emotions even thinking about it can be painful. Good news is you’ve already experienced the worst of it. Let it up and let it out.

That leads us to the next one…

Process With Someone You Trust

Getting someone who knows what they’re doing to help unlock the things going on underneath is really really valuable.

Someone who knows you and knows what they’re doing. In the last year I’ve had 4 different people help me with various degrees of my mind and emotions. If you want recommendations let me know!

Your subconscious can work for you or against you. When you’re feeling negative, intense pressure, suffering, etc there is something going on with the subconscious.

Use the list above to:

1. Identify the story happening (subconsciously)

2. Change the story (consciously)

For example, I got bad news on a situation last week and I’ve felt bad. There is a reason why I’m feeling that way. There is something happening internally that is giving definition to a scenario that most likely isn’t good.

When I source that and then change it, it will change how I feel. This is a process that has to be worked through and the muscle needs to be built.

Give Yourself Compassion, Love and Grace

I’ve been my worst critic. I’ve been my harshest judge.

I’ve told myself to suck it up, get over it and move on. That’s how I was raised but it never resolved anything.

Instead, I’ve tried to perform my way out of feeling bad. That didn’t work either. 🤣 

I’m learning to give myself grace, love and compassion. I’m learning to be patient with myself.

The rub is we’re usually looking to get from other people and things what we don’t give to ourselves. I believe our work, relationships and contribution should come from the internal overflow of love we have for ourselves.

If I’m feeling pressure it means I’m alive and I have free will. It means I get to choose what I do with the situation I find myself faced with.

I’m going to allow it to make me better or break me. My choice.

What are you choosing? Will you let the pressure hurt you or make you stronger. That is what you control.

Pressure is a privilege,

C