Self-Regulation for Longterm Success

I was like a crack addict.

Going back for hit after freaking hit.

I couldn’t get enough.

Ever had that feeling? Just-one-more!

$100k/m wasn’t enough
$1M/m wasn’t enough
$2M/m wasn’t enough

I NEEDED more.

I was living on high after high. I relied more and more on the “hit” of success. At least what I thought success was.

Looking back, the need was because I didn’t know how to regulate.

My mind and body stayed in overdrive.

As a result, I blew the engine up.

Now, I’m hell-bent on doing it differently from here on out. And I want to help others.

If God graces me with a long life, I want to steward it well. To do that, I need to know how to regulate my emotions. It’s a pillar to a race run well.

After coaching thousands of high-level entrepreneurs, few get this right.

What is self-regulation?

It’s a skill that must be developed. It’s rarely taught.

Someone can manage their emotions and behavior well no matter what life throws at’em.

I was talking to a client the other day, and his highest intent is how he is around his wife and kids.

Presence and state. No matter what happens in our business, our success relies on our ability to manage our state and presence in any situation.

If ads aren’t going well?
If a key team member leaves?
If someone steals your IP?
If you make a wrong decision and lose money?

What is your response? The ability to regulate your emotions will determine this.

I’m fascinated by this science.

Most of my entrepreneurial journey was less about regulation and more about carrying.

The way I think about it when things don’t go out, do I hold onto it, or can I let it go?

Is it water off a duck's back or a sponge that soaks all of it up? At some point, the bill comes due if we don’t regulate our emotions well.

If we don’t steward ourselves well, it will have negative consequences. It’s not a matter of if, it’s when. That might look like losing a business, a broken relationship, depression, anxiety, pendulum swings, lousy decision-making, acting on impulses, etc.

When you’re good at self-regulating, external things don’t affect you negatively like they used to.

You operate with more peace, joy, and resilience.
That’s what I’ve experienced.

If you’re at this point and you feel guilt, that’s not the intent. Let that go.

I’m not a seasoned pro (yet), but I’ve made massive strides and am more consistently open-handed with what comes at me.

The opposite of regulating is coping.

Emotional Regulation has a dramatic effect on your nervous system.

Your two systems are the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS).

SNS: Think of the SNS as the body's gas pedal. It's responsible for the 'fight or flight' response. When stressed, scared, or anxious, the SNS accelerates your heart rate, increases your blood pressure, and releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

PNS: This is like the body's brake. It promotes the 'rest and digest' response. When activated, the PNS slows the heart rate, decreases blood pressure, and helps the body to conserve energy and recover.

This is where the mind + body + emotions connect.

How to self-regulate better.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a start.

1. Awareness

Becoming aware of one’s emotions is pivotal to regulation. Many people aren’t aware of their feelings, and it's too late by the time they are. Blow up, burnout,

Practice emotional awareness through journaling, therapy, stillness, and silence (allowing yourself to feel).

You won’t be able to deal with the emotions properly unless you feel the feelings first.

Practice physical awareness by measuring sleep and physical response (how your nervous system performs). I use a whoop to track my sleep. A tool like this or Oura can help you figure out what’s happening with your nervous system via sleep, HRV, etc.

2. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the ability to get present in the moment. When I’m stressed or anxious, it’s because I’m ruminating about the future catastrophe.

I practice mindfulness every day. In the morning, I meditate on the goodness of God and life. I think about the abundance in my life.

As the mind goes, so goes everything else. This is ancient wisdom. This is why the Psalmist says to meditate on the word of God day and night. It’s the OG instructions on mindset.

Renew your mind daily. This is a practice that has changed my life. I FIX my mind on what is good.

Guard your inputs. Our brains become what we fix them on. This is why I meditate on the Psalms every day. It’s good.

3. Breathwork and Nerve Stimulation

Breath work has been a tremendous benefit to me, and it’s free! Deep breath work lowers blood pressure, floods your body with oxygen, activates the PNS, and FEELS good.

I first experienced guided breathing in the early summer of 2022. My friend Justin led me in it, and I was on the edge of euphoria.

Whenever I’m feeling the SNS (fight or flight, stress, anxiety, or not-good), I’ll do some breathing work, and it’s great. You can find great guided breathing routines on YT from Wim Hoff. Just search Wim Hoff guided breathing.

Another (more recent) way to relax my nervous system is through Vagus Nerve stimulation. You can do this manually. Recently, I picked up a Pulsetto. It’s a tool you put around your neck that stimulates the vagus nerve. Check more on stimulating the vagus nerve and its benefits on YT.

4. Exercise and Diet

I’m great at being active, working out, walking, and playing a lot of pickleball. My diet needs improvement. 😀 

Not working out often, trash food, and alcohol in excess hurt us.

Food and alcohol are often a crutch for unregulated emotions. My pattern is running to one or both, consuming too much (to feel better), making it worse. I am talking from experience here, not judgment.

If you want to better navigate the storms of life, these are a few points that WILL help you.

These are a few of my practices.

Regulating emotions well is key to being a good steward of our business.

Our business WILL manifest our internal state. This is a part of how I’m helping owners now.

Want help? Reply, and let me know.

In your corner,

Chris