I stepped out of the fog-covered double doors and was immediately slapped in the face.

With the humidity of a weighted blanket.

Three minutes later, I hopped into immediate relief (my AC'd Uber). Thank God.

As we drove away, I thought, "Has Orlando always been this hot?" Yeah, it has.

Thirty-five minutes later, I pull up to this massive house and open the door to white marble everywhere.

A gang of successful entrepreneurs huddled around this long black table discussing high-level strategy, what’s working, and how to overcome the current challenges.

My role there was simple...

The legend, Todd Brown, invited me to share this new “message” with his Mastermind.

I shared on "How to grow a sustainable and enjoyable business. Lessons Learned."

If you had my slide deck, you could scroll down to Lesson #9.

"Clarify Your Values." 

I want to go deeper on this topic today.

Let me start by saying…

You and I have been lied to! 

The lie: you’ll be accepted, admired, loved, and valuable if you achieve. If you produce. If you adhere to a system and social norm.

So, like hamsters, we run on the wheel believing those values that have been instilled into us.

Not anymore!

How we're "programmed" determines what we value.

What we value determines (primarily) our behaviors.

As we grow up, we're "programmed" by:

- Family
- Media
- Society
- Teachers
- Neighborhood
- etc

Social media is a more recent addition to our lives as adults; who we spend time with is essentially what we consume.

In a study, Cambridge University discussed how powerful social media is in creating "knowledge" that makes social norms, beliefs, and values.

We've normalized some crazy things as humans. That's from the programming that creates beliefs and values.

GOOD NEWS: our brains were created to be pliable and moldable. That’s awesome.

The moldability of our brains means others can control us. 😬 

Let me give you some extreme examples of how programming creates value systems:

- Hitler programmed a nation to murder millions of Jews because of a value system.
- Human trafficking currently has millions enslaved because of a value system.
- Millions of Africans were taken into slavery because of a value system.
- Jim Jones convinced 900 people to kill themselves because of a value system.

Side note: When you want a population or person to do something (awful) without force, change their value system.

Here are a few non-extreme examples of value systems at work:

- Working 70 hours a week.
- Reading books on the reg.
- Scrolling social media two hours a day.
- Eating a healthy diet.
- Contributing to a non-profit.

Why do we do all that?

The mechanism of values is good. i.e., we value food (me more than others) so that we will survive.

However, operating under a social value system, we weren't intentional about creating can be dangerous. Why?

It puts us on autopilot.

Like a Tesla on autopilot (driven by a program), so are we when we're unaware of what's driving us (our value system).

Are you on autopilot driven by a program, and you don't even know it? 

Change your program,
change your value system
and change your life.

When we operate under someone else's values, we're misaligned.

Lemme get into some practicals and share my stuff on this:

Some of my old values:

- Money
- Status
- Speed
- Competing
- What people think about me
- Comfort and convenience

Some of my new values:

- Slowness
- Service
- Time with family
- Good stewardship
- What I think about me
- Creating

The plane back to Charlotte is pulling into the gate, so I need to wrap this up.

Here are a few pointers for determining current values and establishing new ones with intention.

Step 1: REFLECT

1. Sit down with a journal.
2. Notice and record.

Identify your current values by asking these questions:

- What do I spend energy on?
- What do I spend money on?
- What do I spend time on?
- What do I think about?

Are these values a result of "the mask" (who you want people to see)? I discuss the mask in my book The Joy of Failure. Or are they values from your authentic self?

List out what's important to you, considering your authentic self and everything "stripped" away.

Another way to think about it would be if other people weren't around. Nobody can measure up to, prove anything to, or impress. What would you do with your time?

Step 2: DETERMINE WHAT'S IMPORTANT

Write down what's important to you. Truly important.

Identify your goals.

Now, compare those two lists.

How does that feel? When you look at those values, does it feel "light?"

Operating according to external values is burdensome. That's a good indicator to check it.

Step 3: CHOOSE YOUR PATH

Now that awareness is coming, you can continue to reprogram or continue to run the same without making any changes.

This is where intention enters in.

How have you behaved in that automated programming you'd like to change?

What new "programming" do you want to install, i.e., what YOU value?

Get clear on that.

Next,

Step 4: REWIRE AND REPROGRAM

Create a daily practice of reading out loud what you value. I do this (not always daily) by reading my new values. Why?

I want to normalize something new.

Rewiring our brains with a new value system requires repetition.

Step 5. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF

Deciding to be more intentional about our beliefs and values requires time. Following number 4 will help us establish those new pathways in our brain and reconstruct new automation.

The benefits of following this process are:

- Feel better
- Feel aligned
- Live authentic
- Less burden
- More peace

Values and beliefs determine so much about our lives. Don't leave it up to chance or what somebody else says. You're a sovereign individual.

It's not a one-time thing. It should be an ongoing practice.

This is why the Jewish Scholar Paul admonished his followers to "renew your minds daily," the Psalmist said, "As a man thinks, so is he."

If we want to be good stewards of our lives, we must assess and perhaps rewire our current value system.

Alright, y'all, I'm out. This week felt rushed, but I'm glad I'm pushing past my perfectionist tendency and "shipping." 😆 

Much love,

C

1. Grab my book, which is already impacting Founders profoundly.

2. Do you want to work one-on-one with me? Get on my waitlist (by responding to this email).

P.S. Welcome to the Top One crew. Great to have you!