Are you a good parent?

Y’all, this is WILD. THIS weekend, my youngest, Judah, is turning 13!

My oldest, Liberty, is turning 20 five days later! I’ll have four teenagers in the house for five days. Life is crazy.

I appreciate all the feedback on last week’s email. It resonated with many of you.

In honor of my guy Judah becoming a teenager, I want to drop 13 thoughts (below) on being a good dad (or mom ;)).

Being a parent pays the most significant dividends. I’ve learned this after ascending the mountain of success. It’s lonely up there, and the air is thin.

Being a great parent is one of the most extraordinary callings there is.

People who do well in business can be highly celebrated while everything at home falls apart. Why is that? We don’t value a healthy home anymore.

Sure, it takes a lot of time, effort, and energy. Sometimes, my schedule is wholly shifted because I must “parent” a situation that comes up.

This isn’t about shame. There’s already enough of that out there. This is about allowing ourselves the space as parents who own businesses to allow space for that.

The fact is, being a parent is hard. Being a parent and running a business is more challenging. You feel the pressure of all the business things, but then there are your kids (and spouse).

So, how do you “balance” business and family? A question I was asked by a 7-figure business owner the other day.

I could hear the concern in his voice. He started listing all the people he had heard about getting divorced and losing their families in the name of “success.”

Here are a few thoughts today (then 13 characteristics).

1. Don’t worry about balance. Instead, establish rhythms.

As I’ve mentioned, we prioritize 24 hours per week as a family to rest and “be.”

No work (business or house), and no screens. It’s a great way to discover how addicted you are to both. 😅 

It’s a time when we feast, pray, play games, read, sleep, and do anything that promotes connection, unity, and recovery.

We discuss our week, what we’re grateful for, what we need help with, or anything they need support on.

We also have dinner together as many nights as possible. This has happened because each family member is responsible for cooking dinner for the whole family—even Jayden and Judah.

2. Grow your business through constraints

Business will quickly become our master if we don’t establish boundaries. That’s all a constraint is.

Having a family is a significant boundary.

What that could look like is this:

1. I’m done working at 6 pm and completely present for the rest of the night
2. Put my phone down when my kids come to talk to me (or ask them to let me finish)
3. The 24 hr weekly sabbath mentioned above

You might have seasons of intense push, and that’s alright. I’ve gotten into trouble when that season has become a pattern. That’s not alright.

Incensent need to grow probably means I’ve got some holes in the sole. Also, it’s what just about everybody values higher than anything else.

And living in a society that devalues family doesn’t help. Let's change that.

3. Let your kids in on the business.

A healthy family is a powerful unit. Getting kids involved in the business can significantly give them experience in real-life situations—the good and bad.

I’ve let my kids in on most of what’s happened on my journey the last couple of years, and it’s meant something special to them (and me).

My oldest son, Jacob, came to me weeks ago and said, “Dad, I want you to teach me what you know.” 🥹 

As parents, we often tend to push kids instead of them being pulled by our authenticity and vulnerability.

I’ve also had them sit on challenging family situations I’ve had to navigate. I want them to soak up and learn as much real-life wisdom as possible.

The dream is for the kids to see so much goodness in the calling of work I do that they want to participate. And then we build something together. That’s how it was 100 years ago.

I want my kids to see the failures and hardships as well as the successes. That’s a gift you and I have as an entrepreneur that we can give our kids. Nothing wasted.

It’s easy to look at someone with a “booming” business and easily take on envy or jealousy of that person.

But take a minute to see how well you’ve kept it together. Look at the other fruit of your life and how amazing that is.

In honor of Judah…

13 Characteristics of being a good dad (and mom)

1. A good dad is kind
2. A good dad is safe
3. A good dad is strong
4. A good dad is patient
5. A good dad is present
6. A good dad is gracious
7. A good dad prioritizes his family
8. A good dad is emotionally aware
9. A good dad leads by example first
10. A good dad is emotionally available
11. A good dad is a person of character
12. A good dad establishes boundaries
13. A good dad is quick to listen and slow to speak
Bonus 14. A good dad shows consistent emotional, physical, and verbal affection

These are things that I aim to be for my kids. It’s a worthy endeavor to prioritize this above accumulating more things.

It’s good stewardship.

Chris

P.S. I'm stoked. I talked Judah into having his mom make him her famous chocolate raspberry cake for his birthday. #masterofinfluence 😂